The Widetrack Chronicles 15: Turning Pro

Chapter 15: Turning Pro

I've been playing music since I was 12 years old, but as early as age 9, I worked for my dad, putting up fences... This was some pretty hard work, and it wasn't really how I wanted to spend my days for the rest of my life, but it taught me a lot about having a good work ethic and being a "responsible adult" (as much as musician is capable of being, anyway! lol)...

I remember my youngest brother and I working our butts off with our dad in the hot sun 5-6 days a week, 10-12 hours a day (seasonal work demanded that one took full advantage of the good Michigan weather months)... Our dad was a great boss, but he was not an easy act to follow... He worked harder than any of us, and was the kind of person that commanded great respect, so one really felt the need to please him... Looking back on those days, I feel eternally grateful for the work ethic he instilled in me, even though my career as a fenceman eventually came to an end...

In those days, I would usually come home feeling ready to collapse... But there was no time for rest - I still had band rehearsal... So I would shower, eat dinner, and head right back out the door to pound my drums to loud, intense rock music for the next 3-4 hours... Then it was home and to bed, as I would have to be up at 7 AM the next morning for work...

This went on from the time I was a teenager, all the way through my twenties and into my early thirties... All the while, I did my best to keep up with the band duties... Looking back, I really don't see how I was ever able to keep up with such a schedule...

But the truth was, I was spinning my wheels... Hiding... Afraid to take the necessary steps to begin my true journey...

Different versions of this same scenario played out for the next few years until my dad got sick and passed away at the age of 57... Up to that point, I really didn't get the urgency of life... I was relatively happy, but it always felt like something was missing... Every so often, that nagging feeling in the back of my mind would creep up out of nowhere, only to be quickly pushed back down by the more immediate concerns of life's responsibilities...

But all that changed once my dad was gone...

As the months after his passing began rolling by, I was left with a feeling that shook me to the core:

"This is it... This is the one chance we get... It will all be over far too soon... It's time to stop procrastinating and face these fears that have been holding me back! The time is NOW!"

Fast-forward to today, I wonder why it took such a life-changing event to motivate me to "turn pro"... In hindsight, none of the things I feared were nearly as bad as I had imagined they'd be... Getting started was the hardest part... But once I began, things took on a momentum of their own...

Do I struggle to make ends meet these days? Absolutely. But things are moving forward, and I know that if I keep working every day, things are going to be alright...

In his fantastic book, Turning Pro, author Steven Pressfield says:

"Ambition, I have come to believe, is the most primal and sacred fundament of our being. To feel ambition and to act upon it is to embrace the unique calling of our souls. Not to act upon that ambition is to turn our backs on ourselves and on the reason for our existence."

"It took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that I had ambition. I felt guilty about it. Who was I to aspire to 'rise above' my brothers and sisters or to aim to be 'better' than anybody else?"

This describes my situation exactly... Installing fences... Playing cover band gigs... Writing music with what little energy I had left at the end of a day, but only when I really felt in the mood to do so... These things were what Pressfield calls a "shadow calling"...

"Sometimes, when we're terrified of embracing our true calling, we'll pursue a shadow calling instead. That shadow career is a metaphor for our real career. Its shape is similar, its contours feel tantalizingly the same. But a shadow career entails no real risk. If we fail at a shadow career, the consequences are meaningless to us."

The way to begin is with our habits... We have to walk our talk... "Fake it till you make it", people often say... I believe this is absolutely true... Decide to become a professional, and then simply behave like one until you are one...

You have to trust yourself... Trust in the path that really brings your heart to life...

You got this.

Always love hearing from you! Feel free to respond: Ron@widetrackmusic.com

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The Widetrack Chronicles 15: Turning Pro

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